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The Slytherin Dungeons

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Luna’s father needs a few more short articles to fill the next edition of The Quibbler. Write something that is 1-2 paragraphs long so that publication is not delayed!

10 scales if posted by Sunday 11th November, 23:59 HOL time.
5 scales if posted after that but before Friday 30th November, 23:59 HOL time.

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Tales of Terror

The Quibbler is first to report on this wide-spread phenomenon -- Muggles everywhere are experiencing the powers of Gellert Grindelwald, even if just as a story and just at second- (or third-) hand. Yes, there is a growing wave of Muggles who are watching, with doubt, dismay and disbelief the dastardly deeds of Gellert Grindelwald, in vellyfision. Evidently the Muggles had the audacity to read some of our own write-ups and adapt them to what they called 'moving pictures'.  The first of these vellyfision events was seen over a year ago and now there is a growing wave of speculation that a new 'moving picture' is being let loose soon.

We hope that the Muggles are not as accurate in this upcoming depiction as it was in the last one. Knowledge of magic is one thing; sharing the information about MACUSA, about different creatures, about what happened in New York, and about things which can go wrong in the wizard world is simply not conducive to wizardry remaining a secret.  After all, what if they actually opened their eyes to what is going on around them and developed some sort of immunity to the memory charms we've been using? That could put the kneazle amongst the fwoopers.

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Pukwudgies Take America

Yes, you heard us right - Pukwudgies (not to be mistaken with the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry house). Over the last week, certain catastrophic events have unfolded all across North America and this has lead us to one conclusion; there is a building Pukwudgie epidemic sweeping America, and The Quibbler is your go-to for all your Pukwudgie epidemic news. This creature, native to North America, has been spotted by magical beings and Muggles alike a record of 72 times this week alone. Apparently seeking out healers - thanks to the increased magical activity happening across North America - these brazen, stout creatures have been both helping people, and playing mean tricks on a myriad of Muggles. Meanwhile, across the states of West Virginia, Virginia, Ohio, Tennessee, and Indiana, Pukwudgies have been sighted attempting to injure people with poisonous arrows.

 

Thanks to the Pukwudgie epidemic, employees of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures branch of the Ministry of Magic, and obliviators alike have been given quite a large job to do, and quite the fright! If you are in North America, you are advised to keep an eye out for Pukwudgies, and not to get in the way of their poisonous arrows. They can be identified by their short figure, bland grey skin color, and large ears. All Pukwudgie encounters should be reported immediately, and if you are injured you should seek medical care immediately. This has been The Quibbler, reminding you to stay safe, and always be vigilant!

Edited by Gwenevier Winters

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Southern Sapphire Shift

Insect enthusiasts around the world are preparing to watch the Southern Sapphire Shift in Australia. The vivid, sapphire blue Billywigs spend their springs and summers in the Australia Alps, but migrate to a warmer climate as winter approaches. While a single Billywig is typically difficult to spot, a whole swarm of Billywigs is a beautiful sight. Still, omniculars are recommended for those who plan to view the migration. Australian magizoologists have already set up several viewing areas. They also want to remind everyone that Billywigs do possess stingers, so be sure to stay out of the migratory path. The effects of being stung include giddiness and levitation. This incredible sapphire wave occurs twice a year. Have you witnessed it yet?

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Sugary Subterfuge

  The Quibbler can exclusively reveal that the manufacturer of popular wizarding sweets, Fizzing Whizbees, is in cahoots with a prominent broom maker. There is no way to sugar coat the true gravity of this situation, dear readers.

 

  Their underhand scheme is to get kids hooked on flying in their formative years so that the little darlings will badger their parents endlessly for brooms. The idea is that if children spend enough time levitating due to the (heretofore thought comical and harmless) effect of the sweet, they will associate a feeling of weightlessness with contentment. Next time you ponder over which sweet treat to buy, think long and hard. Pick one that lifts your spirits, not yourself.

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